Rainy Days

Sometimes I feel like I don't want to do anything – not like I want to relax. Rather, everything sounds boring and awful and it never did before. I feel hopeless – like everything is futile so why do anything at all? All I want to do is sit or sleep or listen to gloomy music, but most of all I want to escape from this feeling. In the past I've called it aimlessness, but I think it’s really a form of depression. It comes upon me for a few days and then it leaves almost as suddenly and I’m perfectly fine again. But it never fails to revisit me. It makes me feel  like I'm lost at sea. I wrote this poem about it:

"By chance" right before I posted this I came across a bible verse that reads:

“In his kindness God called you to share in his eternal glory by means of Christ Jesus. So after you have suffered a little while he will restore, support, and strengthen you, and he will place you on a firm foundation."

                                           1 Peter 5:10

Standing in Wonder

Today was wonderful. 

It was raining heavily and a little bit cold. I went hiking (with my good friend Alice). Everything was alive and green. By the end my hair was soaking, water was dripping from my nose, my hands were numb and it was perfect.

Then I went and sat in my tent and listened to the soft pitter-patter of the rain mixed with murmuring voices and bird song. And all I could think was…

“What a beautiful thing it is to be alive – Simply to draw breath. I am so blessed.”

Seriously, don’t we have an extraordinary world? Through sun or rain, whether day or night there is always something to stand in wonder of. It makes me think of a quote by G. K. Chesterton:

                   

“We are perishing for want of wonder, not want of wonders”

Don't fall into the trap of taking things for granted. Every sunrise, every raindrop, every breath is a gift.

Endings

I hate this feeling - the feeling you get when a really good book ends. 

The sadness that washes over you - When you almost start to cry - even though the ending was perfect. It's like having a dream, a beautiful, mesmerizing dream, and then waking up to a grey reality - lacking in passion and color and light. After these types of books I always feel as though I'm waiting for my life to begin, like I should be out there doing something.

I find that this ^ is what makes a truly good book for me - a book that I want to read over and over again. Few books make it to that level and they’re usually classics like “The Lord of The Rings” or “Rose in Bloom.” I’m always in search of these types of books, which is ironic because I feel depressed after reading them. It is kind of a “beautiful depression” though, if that makes any sense. 

Poem: "Stagnant Waters"

Blurred Perception: A Poem

 

"Beautiful longing 

Terrible longing 

You confuse me 

You complete me

This wonderful feeling

Fills me with fear

The lines are blurred,

My judgements shady 

One minute it's Yes

One minute it's No

Do I put aside my reservations? 

Or embrace them?

You are so beautiful 

You terrify me."

Poem of The Week: The Poetic Underground

Via : The Poetic Underground

I recently discovered Erin Hanson and her Tumbr blog: The Poetic Underground. I absolutely love her poetry, her poems are simple and beautiful, I was surprised by how many I could relate too. They are truly excellent. My Favorite is the one above entitled: “Not.” You can check out The Poetic Underground here.

Enjoy,

Deborah

April Booklist

1. Where'd You Go, Bernadette

Bernadette has a wild heart, but after months of living in Seattle (which she hates) she pulls inside of herself, and becomes somewhat of a recluse.  But her daughter, Bee hatches a plan to draw her out and back into the world.

I've heard this book is really funny and I’m excited to read it!

2. Messenger by Lois Lowry

When I read “The Giver” and “Gathering Blue” in middle school I always felt like they were incomplete. I didn't realize until a few weeks ago that was because there are two more books in the series “Messenger” and “Son.” So I’ve decided to read them both before "The Giver" movie comes out in August.

3. Wild by Cheryl Strayed

This book detailing Cheryl Strayed”s 1,100 mile hike to healing has been everywhere lately – On blogs, in magazines, and on the display table at the library (To name a few places) an while at first I stayed away because I don't generally love memoirs (excepting “The Year of Magical Thinking” by Joan Didion which was excellent), I decided to give it a shot mostly because of all the positive reviews I've read on it.

Have Your read any of the above books? What did you think of them?

Enjoy,

Deborah